Your Teen and Dating
when children enter their teen years a lot begins to change. your once “little boy” or ”little girl” is growing older…..hormones are kicking in……messages from our culture bombard our youth….and yes of course peer pressure can also come into play.
you may hear a lot of new questions:
can i go to the movies?
can i go to my friends house and spend the night?
oh - how old do i need to be to start dating?
dating you think - dating? i mean my goodness this child is still learning how to do math and clean up after themselves. can they handle the responsibility of a relationship with a person of the opposite sex? can you trust the person they want to date? do you feel ready mom or dad for all these questions?
certainly, you’ve thought about these issues before. probably now more than ever parents realize that most teens are exposed to way more than what’s in their best interests. your desire to protect your teens is God given even if you don’t receive applause from your teens - their friends - and even other adults.
check out the free resources tab on this website. i’ve put together some suggestions and scriptures about teens and dating. obviously, you need to do what you feel is right before God in your heart. i’ve pastored and been in television ministry for more than 20 years and just when i think “nothing can surprise me”. i get yet another surprise.
my heart is to see moms and dads honor God and not be afraid to just say NO to your teen. sometimes this means even standing up against what other christians think and what they regard to be just normal “growing up stuff”.
so if you’re teen is bugging you to go on a date…..if you’re thinking the issue or question may come up soon in your house……..read the Teens and Dating post that’s listed on this site under the free resources tab. even if you disagree - and make another choice - it’s good to do your research and pray and then let God speak to your heart.
my prayer for all of our teens is that they grow up strong the Lord - untouched by the sin and corruption in this world. that is after all - the very best testimony of all - that God can keep us pure in the midst of a dark world that does not know the difference between right and wrong.
i am praying for you.
shalom,
monica
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Comments
I am trying to navigate the tween/teen waters and am finding it the most challenging phase of parenting so far! Thanks for the resources!
it is the most challenging phase of parenting by far……the good news is that God has equipped you to handle it. i’ll be praying for you melissa.
I am a parent of two teenage boys and I had my boys later on in life. I was 32 when my first son was born and 35 when I had the baby. The oldest is 19 and he just graduated from high school and has never given his dad and me any trouble at all. Recently we were told that he was experiencing drinking and smoking and it was like a death in our house. WE had the preacher over and talked about how it started and my son had started hanging with someone different that influenced him but, I do not blame the other guy, I blame my son. It has hurt us so…….much and my son told me today that I need to let him grow up and maybe I do but, he has made a wrong choice and I feel like if I give him too much space that he will continue the wrong road. Please give me your advice.
Thanks,
Sis
dear sis,
my heart goes out to you and i am praying for you and your family too.
my first suggestion is for you and your husband (if this is possbile) to come together in faith, prayer and the Word. the two of you together (there is power in agreement) on the guidelines for your 19 year old son. he is still under your roof - yes he’s a legal adult but he lives in your home which means he has to be under your rules.
a son really needs a strong godly father (especially at 19 years old). it would be wonderful if your husband and you could sit down with your son and explain with love and truth how his decisions have not been good and that he is engaging in behavior you cannot condone.
i cannot tell from your question if it is recreational drinking - binge drinking - or something else. please do not misunderstand me i don’t believe in drinking alcohol. at 19 drinking is not even legal. with that in mind you and your husband owe it to your son to tell him you want the behavior to stop and to outline consequences if you see continued behavior of this nature.
if your husband is not a christian or won’t help you - then do it on your own. have the tough talk. expect God’s help. a son needs a father but if dad can’t or won’t Father God will help.
of course your son tells you he needs space. he doesn’t want to listen. right now you son doesn’t need more space or more friends….he needs parents.
even if he continues in bad behavior it won’t be because you said “okay do what you want”. this will speak volumes to your son. he will always know that you taught him right from wrong.
pray faithfully for your son. these are dark times. let your son know how much you care. outline for your son what a great plan God has for His life. the truth is that alcohol affects our decision making ability - and our thought process.
tell your son that you do want him to grow up. you want him to grow up into a christian young man. a young man that is responsible and makes good choices.
i believe that godly parents always love their children and adult children and because we love them we NEVER say yes to anything that God says NO to……..
you would be surprised the influence parents have on their children (adult children too). while your son is still living in your home - you have a wonderful opportunity to continue helping him grow up into the young man that God wants him to be.
i will be praying for you sis…….from one mom to another please know that our jobs may be tough and even heartbreaking but all of heaven backs us up as we pray. we have strength and power as we pray and ask God for help and direction.
please keep me posted.
shalom
monica
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