Jealousy & Friendships

By monica • September 18th, 2009

Shakespeare called jealousy the green eyes monster and the book of proverbs says jealousy is like a cancer that eats our bones !!

no wonder we think of jealousy best way to understand a godly type of jealousy is to look at the relationship between a husband and wife. any husband with any moral fiber at all would not want to share his wife with another man. why not? simply because that is his wife…..this is a precious sacred relationship not meant to be shared with anyone else.

now we’ve all heard about jealousy of the sinful type where a husband is jealous simply because his wife talks to another man or vice versa as such a destructive emotion. no wonder we have such difficult when we hear people say God is a jealous God. what’s up with that anyway? when the bible speaks of God as jealous - it’s a good type of jealousy. it’s similar to the word zealous or protective (in a good way). ta. that is ungodly, sinful jealousy - based on insecurity. that kind of jealousy does not help but hinders a relationship.

when the Bible says that God is a jealous God and that He is jealous over us - this means He wants to protect His relationship with us and that He wants to be our first love. that our love and worship with His is exclusive as Father - child. He wants our relationship with Him to be our primary concern so that He can provide for us in every way and give us every good thing that we need.

for every God given emotion and gift there is also a counterfeit….that is where sinful jealousy comes in. when we talk about the green eyed monster - we are talking about a sinful, destructive type of emotion. this kind of jealousy does not protect but actually destroys. when we are jealous of our friend (or anyone for that matter) because she is pretty, has money, is more educated etc. etc. is it because we want something that they have. further, it usually means that we feel we should have it and not them. sinful jealous is about wrongly desiring something/someone else has and wanting it for us exclusively.

this kind of jealous has destroyed what could have been many good relationships. after all we are not free to enjoy the companionship of someone if we secretly or openly want what they have. this is kind of jealous that “rots our bones”. it literally eats us alive. it robs of us joy.

if we only knew how much God loves us and wants to be our first love. if we knew HIs good plan for us. if we knew the value that He placed on us….then we would be free to love Him and others.

then we would be “jealous” in a God way and not in a destructive way.

the next time you find the green eyed monster nipping at your heels..remind yourself how you are the apple of His eye….how He sings over you with joy.

then you won’t want what others have - you will then be free to be who you are and to enjoy your friends without a single speck of ungodly jealousy.

shalom,

monica

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